THE WAY WE WERE

When a child is born the baby and her mother live in their own house during the first eight days of the child’s life. This is a traditional Bende Igbo custom. During this period neither the mother nor the child is allowed to come out of the house through ifu ezi [the main village entrance, or the front of the house]. The husband is responsible for providing for his wife and the newborn. He runs errands and cooks for his wife, who is exempted from any type of work, including fetching water from the stream or going to the market. If necessary, her mother, sisters, and her neighbors will supply her needs. However, if she chooses to go to the stream and fetch water she must go through ifofo/azu ezi [the backyard]. This traditional requirement ends on the eighth day after she gives birth.

 

The ceremony marking the end of this period consists of bringing the newborn out for the first time through her mother’s mgbe ezi [the front living room]. In preparation for this ritual, the elder woman of the village or town is informed in advance because she is the one who will perform the ritual ceremony. On the day of the ritual she arrives at the house where the ceremony is to take place. She comes very early in the morning at about six o’clock. Apart from performing the ritual ceremony, her duties include helping to dress the young mother and her newborn traditionally for the occasion. She is also to oversee the implementation of all ritual requirements and must make sure that all the requirements for the ritual ceremony are correct and complete to specification.

           

At about eight in the morning she starts chanting “Uma Onyekemo!” or “Uma Onyeamimo!” depending on the gender of the child. The former chant is for a boy, the latter for a girl. Upon hearing her, all the villagers gather in front of the house where they hear the chant. As the gathering becomes larger, the old woman who will be performing the ritual starts a song praising the god of children. Then she is joined by the villagers, who are versed with all the songs relating to this ritual. As they continue singing, the father of the newborn comes out carrying Okwa [a wooden container used by the Bende Igbos to serve a visitor a welcoming treat]. The presentation of okwa with kola nut and nzu is a sign of acceptance in our tradition. He hands okwa over to the old woman, who, in turn, gives it to any of the women dancers for a traditional Okwa pass around.

 

This must be done for people to touch nzu and view the contents of okwa gifts before sharing them. Our tradition mandates that nothing of value shall be received or given to anyone with the left hand. The traditional Bende passing of okwa strictly adheres to this rule. Okwa must be passed from the right to the left. The last person who touched nzu in okwa must return it with the right hand. The old woman must now assign the sharing of okwa contents to the woman whom she initially handed okwa to pass around. The shares must be handed out according to seniority. No young person receives a share before an older person. After shares have been received and eaten, the old woman returns to the house where the young mother and her newborn are. She informs the young mother that the moment for her and her child to come out through Ezi has come. Then she leads them to the gathering outside. Upon exiting the door the old woman starts another round of chants. The dancers, who form a circle in front of the house, create a path allowing them to enter the center of the circle. Once inside, the old woman turns to the young mother and takes the child, whose body is completely covered with nzu and who has been circumcised several days earlier. While holding the child in her arms she introduces the child by name to everyone. She then hands the newborn to the mother, chants, sings and dances some more.

           

The woman advises the children of the village to love, care, protect and accept the newborn in the family of the village children. Then the children sing some songs of appreciation for the newborn, whom they regard as a gift and addition to their number. The woman instructs the older children of the village to individually touch the newborn as a sign of welcome and acceptance to the family of the village children. Under the watchful eyes of the mother each of the older children proceed in a disciplined manner to gently touch the tender fingers and toes of the newborn. While touching the child each is required to say something indicating its love for the child. At the end of this orderly introduction, food is served and shared with the children of the village. This is the first of the many initiations that awaits a child in the Bende traditions.