THE WAY WE WERE

Our perception of old age is based on our culture. Our traditional beliefs define old age not merely as advanced years of life, when strength and vigor decline. In our culture we perceive old age as a blessing which can only be given to an upright individual, by Chineke [the supreme deity or Creator]. Old age is a status of pride, it is a blessing and an honor second only to the blessing of having a child. We perceive old age as a process of life and a sign of longevity. African traditional beliefs define old age as the physical acceptance of a life well lived. Old age is a completion of cycles of events in a man’s life. It is the total output of a man’s value. We view old age as the compilation of seasoned experiences, intelligence, maturity and wisdom. There are no negative stereotypes associated with the word old, or old age, in our culture. In a traditional manner, when we call or refer to an individual as an old man, or old woman, it simply means that the person being referred to is intelligent, experienced, diplomatic and knowledgeable.

 

With old age comes a very important aspect of our culture: respect. Every aspect of our culture was built around the word respect. We treat old men and women with respect. African religion defines respect as the single most important dictate in our belief. Respect in our society is a double-edge sword. Our ancestors said: “Nkita siri obu onye daru ibe ya, Ibe ya adaru ya ka egwuregwu ji na-aga l’ ifu”  [the dog says: “When bowing to one another is the format of a game, and everyone bows, the game will continue].” Respect is the etiquette demanded of everyone in our society. Our Elders rule the people with respect. In our tradition the father respects his wife and children and children respect their parents. Our religion calls for respect to our ancestors and we believe that our ancestors reciprocate. And we respect our elders, so that we may be respected. In our culture an old person is almost equal to the father or mother of our community. He is respected, listened to and treated with dignity and reverence. He is given all the help necessary to make his life comfortable. It is against our tradition to pass an old man on the street without greeting him, irrespective of his identity. Etiquette demands that when we see an old man carrying a load, we offer him some assistance. Traditionally young people seek the blessings of an old man.

 

The care for the elderly is the primary responsibility of his immediate family members. It is unheard of for any family to send their aged to be cared for outside the family.

 

            Aging in our culture carries certain anticipatory obligations and responsibilities on the part of the aged. In our culture old men and women are not only respected because of their age. Our culture values the importance of an old person in our communities, and because of this awareness, they are treated as a reservoir: our society and communities expect and depend on the elderly men as guiding parents of the community. As the father of the community, the old man knows his obligations and what society expects of him. He is the encyclopedia of our  rituals and customs. He is regarded as the community’s consultant on all matters relating to our traditions. In the absence of written literature and history books on our culture, he is a raconteur of our traditional folk tales and the interpreter of our parables.  He interprets the laws of the land. He is in charge of all the oracles or holy places in his hamlet and serves as the chief priest. He is expected to demonstrate unblemished character in all aspects of morality. He guides and teaches young adults on how traditional shares are distributed amongst various kin. He is knowledgeable about property ownership and if there is a dispute of land in his hamlet, he decides the case. And if he is in good health, he also leads and serves as the representative of his community in all major discussions.